Are you guilty of taking work home? Do you need help getting yourself out of this horrible predicament? Well, even though I’m guilty of this, for the sake of our own sanity let’s talk this through so we both can move on from this vicious cycle. Let’s get serious!
First things first what do you do the moment you get home after a long day's work? Let me try to answer that for you as best as I can. You enter your home (looking frazzled) greet your family members without looking them in the eye and dump your work bag and lunch box on the counter. You ask everyone how their day went (without even paying attention) and your partner responds by saying “It was alright and yours?”, to which you half heartedly say “ah it was ok” and you continue to go about your routine (preparing dinner, cleaning up and all that nonsense). You then shower and eat your rushed dinner watching television not knowing what you spoke about an hour earlier and play back the day in an almost creepy manner. You ask yourself (whilst eating dinner) “Did I send that report?” or “Should I recheck what I reported” or “I hope their mood is better tomorrow because I cannot deal with that crap today”.
You finished your meal, and your family had a full-on conversation without you being mentally present. You missed out on what your child did at school, and you missed that your partner mentioned he/she had just received a promotion. You all gather in the living room or in separate corners of the house and just scroll on social media or Netflix completely in a haze and constantly thinking about the tasks you have waiting in your inbox or on your table already. This is not living a meaningful life. This is just living at the bare minimum. It’s like walking down a clothing aisle and choosing the most boring T Shirt amongst the wonderful variations that are available. You just bypass them, just like you bypass your family.
Now don’t get emotional, nobody hates you… yet! Haha. There is a way to change this and live a life that is more meaningful and fulfilling. At the end of the day, the job you are chasing or the people you are trying to please by going above and beyond for, can replace you within 30 days. The promotion you are killing yourself over? Well here’s news for you, it can be scooped by some random newcomer or your superiors “pick” from the old lot that even lack the basic capability of the job.
The promotion of your life will mean the most when it comes from the people you share a home with. The people that you cry with and fight with but are forced to love you because they sincerely love you for the idiot that you can be at times. The promotion of your life feels like your partner looking at you and knowing that they can rely on you or your child telling you “I think you are better than any superhero I know”. That’s the real win in life isn’t it? Living a meaningful life, but with money. We do need money so don’t go quitting your job just yet. I once was told by a co worker that he would rather cry in a BMW than in a Tazz!
Maintaining a healthy work-life balance doesn’t mean you shirk your responsibility at work because of an appointment, it means you do your days work and leave work… at WORK. It means as you drive away from your place of employment, you disconnect yourself and enter the phase in your brain that involves yourself, your family and your interests. Picture this, you exit the driveway of the building and as you leave the premises you “shut down” the same way your pc does when you happily log off for the day. As you click the shut down button on your device it takes seconds to go completely blank as if nothing happened so why can’t our brain be trained to do the same.
If you work from home, take 15 minutes after you log off to shut down and use this time to rid yourself of the horrors of the day and delve into the mindset of rest and relaxation. There will never be a time where the business will come to a grinding halt if you aren’t around (you aren’t as special as you think) because believe it or not, the show will go on with or without you. Most of our anxiety, stress, worry and fear comes from our work environment and most of the time we cannot change it due to the lack of jobs available. If we can’t change something, we need to learn how to cope with it and how to manage it the best way we can. It’s no use being a Miserabelene around people that have nothing to do with your misery. That’s not cute.
I will admit I take work home with me almost everyday and I firmly believe it’s because I’m passionate and I care about what I put out there however, when it started to negatively impact my mental space, I decided to make a change. Contractually you are bound to work a certain amount of hours a week and from the time your shift starts I urge you to give 100% of yourself to your work. In the 8 or 10 hour work day, make sure you are getting things done and ticking all the boxes for the day. You do earn a salary right? So you should be working for it too.
Surprises do come up in the day and this is where you have to be strategic for instance, if I don’t do this today will the building explode? If something pops up and it can wait, then it should wait. Prioritising your work load will determine the activity for the day and it will help you filter the “noise” or unnecessary tasks that someone else is supposed to be doing and help you focus on what you get paid to do. Be careful guys, there’s a ton of employees that get paid a fat lot to do the bare minimum (they even complain for that too) and like to pass the responsibility to others. Don’t be victim to that and hold people accountable.
Here are some tips to help you “shut down” after your shift:
1. Listen to powerful music on your way home (either religious or some 90s Nas and 2Pac).
2. Listen to your favourite radio station. Radio stations often have interactive sessions so the public can engage freely. In this way you will know that your day wasn’t as crappy as you thought.
3. Do not attend to any work related calls, emails or messages unless it’s an absolute emergency. You all know the people in your environment that throw hissy fits for small things so ignore those ones completely. Only take necessary calls.
4. Always inform your second in charge or your superior of anything that happens at the end of the day that is important. In this way, you avoid unnecessary conversations after hours.
5. Mute the work What’s app group. Click in on mute, nobody will die (seriously).
These are just five that I could think of but I’m sure there’s more out there. Honestly, when I’m having a bad day, on my way home Dr Dre is on blast and just for variation I add some Ariana Grande. If you have a highly stressful job that involves interaction with many people in the day remember your energy levels are going to be lower than other people so it’s extremely important to recharge yourself. Take 30 minutes of your day (when you get home or whenever) and pick 5 things that you are grateful for. When I say grateful I mean GRATEFUL! We can think of 10 things that make us miserable surely we can find five that we are lucky to even have. Practicing gratitude humanises us and grounds us in ways you would never imagine.
Let me know in the comments your thoughts on work-life balance, I’d love to hear what you think (unless you are my boss, jk)… 😊😊
Excellent post.. resonates with many