The reason and sole purpose of the regurgitation of words.
Physically, you probably look your absolute best and are possibly donned with all your favorite brands from head to toe. You put your favorite perfume (mine is the amazing Jean Paul Gaultier) and you look in the mirror. You feel kinda cute almost like you want to praise that gorgeous creature staring back, but behold- you find something wrong with shape of your ears. You find your nose may look abit bigger and the longer you stare the longer you stand there buffering- almost waiting to vomit the words “I look good today”.
Mentally, your mind tells you to calm the glam down and start to question everything that’s wrong with the way you look- insert big ass ears here. That’s the problem with our mentality- it hold us the Frick back. That’s not cool. I know the feeling. Let me walk you through my mind. I dress up, put on my best make up, suit up and do my hair. I go on about my day and my day actually goes quite well…. Until… da da da daaaaaaaaa- my insecurities come waltzing in and my confidence becomes shattered, like slingshot shattering a big booty mirror. I tell myself “Woah girl! You are having an awesome time right now but don’t be happy for too long. You might jinx it’.
I kid you not, this is how my deranged and uncoordinated mind works. It’s ghastly, really, to have that feeling where you have to scale your happy hormone so there is enough to go around for the rest of the week or even my life.
My mentality has caused enough destruction and has robbed me of the countless opportunities in life to be simply GRATEFUL for what I have. How my brain is wired is something I’ll never be able to figure out however I have decided to halt the operations of this painful experience as each day go by. Bruh, I don’t expect every day to be like a Disney movie with singing animals and dancing all day- I know that’s fiction, but, surely my life can’t only be a blend of deciding when I can or can’t be happy about something. There’s no expiration date for sorrow and laughter so why am I living this way?
Each time I post one of these blogs I wonder if anyone relates or if I’m the only endangered species left of my kind. I never used to be like this. I can’t pin point when this pattern of choosing when to be happy occurred but it came and didn’t bloody leave by 9pm. The whole premise of this blog was to explain why mental health is important. I’m not writing about that anxiety crap that the Kardashian family talks (count the number of times they use the word-its ridiculous) I’m talking about heart pounding, hand shaking, sweaty palms, 117 heart rate and several trips to the bathroom anxiety- oh and the headaches. Imagine getting through days feeling like this… what a waste.
The reason why I created this blog was to hopefully bring literature into this universe that people can actually relate to. No offense to all the motivational talks that are shoved down our throats because let’s be realistic, it’s just not that simple to switch your brain out of a toxic state. It doesn’t happen overnight and although the 100s of videos I have watched and several hours of therapeutic attention, my life was still stuck- until I started to make the changes in my cabinet.
The people around you are so important and you need a healthy support system to navigate this type of thing.
Mentality Matters because it’s the core of your existence! It’s not about the car you drive it’s how you feel when you go to bed at night. It doesn’t matter about how you look, it’s how you see yourself. It doesn’t even matter how much you earn (yes I went there), it doesn’t matter at all when you are depressed. Your mental health is one of the biggest investments you will ever make, because it’s the only investment that will guarantee a return. Imagine waking up every morning and just being content. Being content with your job, your home, your body, your insecurities, your car- whatever, just imagine being CONTENT. What a feeling right?
Unless you feel overwhelmed, your heart races, your hands shake and become sweaty, you feel like you can’t breathe, you wanna poop or pee suddenly, you don’t want to be around people for too long, you don’t want to even leave your house and like me- have to tell yourself before work “Okay, it’s game time” just to fake it- then you don’t have anxiety, it’s possibly stress. Consider yourself lucky if you can’t relate to what I just said because honestly I would not wish this feeling for anyone. It ruins your relationships, your work capabilities and your peace overall. Aren’t you tired of that? Aren’t you over it?
It's not going to happen overnight where you suddenly pray and your body goes “okay guys, God intervened and now we can leave”… no it doesn’t work like that. It’s only going to go away until you acknowledge that you have a problem and you need to sort this bugger out. The moment you say to yourself “Maybe I do need help” that’s the biggest step you will ever take in the healing process. Be it with a professional or via connecting with your spiritual side- acknowledgement of this horrible disease is the first step. Then the healing process is up to you. You suddenly realize that this beautiful brain of yours can be compartmentalized and find that the catastrophe you once lingered over, is not that much of a catastrophic event. The journey makes you realize what you want out of this life and what exactly triggers you into activating these horrible feelings.
The moment you confront the elephant, you will notice the beauty of the tusk- not the size or its weight that can easily crush and possibly kill you. You begin to realize just why you are still here and what your purpose is. The moment you prioritize your mental health, you will encounter peace… now doesn’t that sound good?
It's time you claimed your life back. It’s time you welcomed or entertained good thoughts and dump the bad ones where they belong. Remember a thought is just that- a thought. It becomes a thing when it becomes an action. Embrace what you have and embrace the beauty with what life has to offer. You got one shot- that’s it. Now, take it!
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